I've just awoken from nearly twelve hours of sleep ... My first thought was, "To sleep, perchance to soften."
Soften what? -- Tension. The tension. The tension that rides, riddles, and cages my form. Sometimes sleep is the only relief.
I remember when I had a full-time job whose expectation of constant speed, hour-by-hour quotas, and results, results, results! jangled my brain and body for eight hours every day, five days a week. I felt like I was trapped inside an alarm clock that wouldn't -- couldn't -- stop clanging. Worse, I had to sit for those eight hours, even as my nervous system buzzed with a frenzied need to run, run, runaway and keep on running. No wonder 'working stiffs' often fall into inertia when there's finally a break from the imperative of speed that somebody else imposes. Excessive tension hijacks our ability to soften ... so we obliviate ourselves somehow, in order to release and relieve the jangling within ... to shut off that damn clock.
Reader, does this ring true with your own experience? Do you sometimes find that sleep is the only good medicine for excessive tension?
Welcome, reader ... This blog is where faith, love and wise mind tussle with despair, shame, and confusion ... and with the best humour I can rustle up. I write here as a person who lives in the aftermath of severe developmental traumas; much of my life's work, both personal and professional, has been in the service of healing existential injury and volitional paralysis, and evolving through the grace of relation ...
~~ Mercy has no boundaries ~~ (Leonard Cohen, Book of Mercy)
Take a boo at the blog; you'll find me there, in one of three guises: Pushing Fifty Gently... is where I sass, opine, and worship my cats. The Quoteable I Ching is here to honour a wisdom tradition that I follow and revere ... and A Post-Cynical Seer chronicles one soul's deeper currents and journeys. Otherwise, I'm likely to be upending my home in search of my glasses, tripping over cats as I go, and spilling my tea. I'm no longer pushing fifty ... Fifty's pushing me!